I am sick and tired of living a small life.
Here it is. The last day of 2018.
Evaluating my year leaves me proud of my bold steps, and sad for all that didn’t come into the light, all at the same time.
There’s a reality to expanding my capacity, but I want to grow faster.
I will stop making excuses and start looking for ways to make things work. I want to WANT MORE. I want to stop thinking small, thinking I can’t do things, I want to OWN MY LIFE in a much bigger way this year.
Last year, I selected the word BOLD as my Word of the Year. I’ve been thinking about my word for 2019, still considering the word PURPOSE, which is really the word I want to select.
There’s another word that kinda gets me more excited as I focus on this glorious gift of 365 days.
That word embodies purpose (aim and accomplish) as well as constancy, intention and resolve, conspicuous, manifest. VISIBLE. BOLD.
From Websters 1828 dictionary:
SHINE, verb intransitive [If s is a prefix, this word accords with the root of Latin canus, caneo.
1. To emit rays of light; to give light; to beam with steady radiance; to exhibit lightness or splendor; as, the sun shines by day; the moon shinesby night. Shining differs from sparkling, glistening, glittering, as it usually implies a steady radiation or emission of light, whereas the latter words usually imply irregular or interrupted radiation. This distinction is not always not always observed, and we may say, the fixed stars shine, as well as they sparkle. But we never say the sun or the moon sparkles.
2. To be bright; to be lively and animated; to be brilliant.
Let thine eyes shine forth in their full luster. Denham.
3. To be unclouded; as, the moon shines.
4. To be glossy or bright, as silk.
Fish with their fins and shining scales. Milton.
5. To be gay or splendid.
So proud she shined in her princely state. Spenser.
6. To be beautiful.
Once brightest shin’d this child of heat and air. Pope.
7. To be eminent, conspicuous or distinguished; as, to shine in courts.
Few are qualified to shine in company. Swift.
8. To give light, real or figurative.
The light of righteousness hath not shined to us. Wisdom.
9. To manifest glorious excellencies.
10. To be clearly published.
11. To be conspicuously displayed; to be manifest.
Let your light so shine before men- Matthew 5:16.
To cause the face to shine, to be propitious.
So, it’s time for me to SHINE. That means doing some different things this year, just for the sake of being different. It means stepping out past my own limitations and expectations and TAKING SOME ACTION.
Leaving my own image of myself and letting Jesus SHINE through me.
The past couple weeks, I’ve been more aware of some serious self-limiting beliefs that have really held me back. I’m gaining on them, and soon will pass them up, and leave them behind!
I’m tired of NOT blogging because I think I have to be “perfect” or be a certain way, NO, I’m just going to write. Not worry what others will think, not worry if I misspell a word (horror!) or have incorrect punctuation. (Really, I’m devoted to being a grammar geek)!
I contacted an old friend this week. She told me she had a dream about me. I was dressed like Wonder Woman (I admired Lynda Carter as a pre-teen) and I had overcome all my fears. WHAT A DREAM! I want to SHINE like Wonder Woman! Whoohooo!
I was just listening to a Rachel Hollis video for the first time, uh, yeah, I bawled when she said:
You will never get past
the thing that you’re struggling with
if you keep quitting on yourself. “
How did she know!? That’s exactly what I was talking to my husband about just the other day.
I’m QUITTING the quitting on myself. NO more.
What that requires is to MAKE A DECISION, mostly about what to say NO to, and then what is valuable enough to say YES to.
I want to be the authentic me. So here goes…